Inspire Me Monday- Finding Yourself

I had such a productive weekend.  I have been trying to get my kitchen painted or even started for quite some time.  Embarrassingly, I have to admit that I have had several spots in the kitchen lined with blue tape with the expectation of starting it and yet I never did.  I am not really sure why I haven't started on it other than being a procrastinator and poor time management.  I 'can' say I got the bottom started and almost done and the top will be a different color so I want to get the bottom all set before I start on that part.  The kitchen has this weird design on the wall-if you can even call it a design.  It is separated by a piece of raised paneling which makes it a little odd because it is not flat.  I wish the whole kitchen could just be redone.  I am so pleased with the results of the color....it just gives me this happy and comforting feeling.  I will share a wall when it is done.  Success for sure and no more blue tape! Win!

Today's Quotation:

One does not "find oneself" by pursuing one's self, but on the contrary by pursuing something else and learning through discipline or routine... who one is and wants to be. May Sarton

Today's Meditation:

I find it interesting to hear people talk about finding themselves. Whenever I hear someone say that they are trying to do so, the first thought that enters my mind is, "Well, here you are, standing right in front of me." And while I know that there is more to the idea than knowing where the physical self is, I also know that finding oneself more than likely is simpler than most people believe. I think the major problem is that most people have not defined or identified just what they are looking for, and therefore have no idea what they have found even when they do find it.  I find that the best things come to me when I am focused on accomplishing something that is important to me or someone else. I find that keeping my mind occupied in a certain pursuit allows my subconscious mind to work on other things, and keeps my conscious mind out of the search for things like peace, happiness, or my inner self. 

That is just the portion that I like the most.  The source of this information is an app on my phone called Inspire Me and I really look forward to the next day because it normally is something pretty interesting and makes me think.  You can not look ahead or back but only at the day you are currently on.  Staying in the present not looking back on the past or wondering into the future.  So I activated my email just so I can email the ones that give me that hmmm moment.  I decided why not answer this because I HAVE pondered this question in some point and time in my life.  So here are the questions at the bottom of the message.

Questions to consider with my Q & A's:

1. Why do so many people fee that they have to work hard to find themselves?

Well, for me I think that most people feel like they actually have to search for, be something or look for something in others to find themselves.  That is at least what I have once done.  I have wondered Who Am I; Who am I supposed to be; How do I know?  There really was no answer.  All of the above things had nothing to do with me but others and materials.  How can you find yourself in others or materials?  You can't, it has nothing to do with "You". 

2. What are some major benefits of focusing our efforts on very specific tasks?

Completed task

Thoughts would be on that and nothing else

Good time management

Not getting overwhelmed with trying to do to many tasks at once and then in turn nothing being completed. 

3. Why do we so often feel that we have to take on all tasks directly, and to see any results of our efforts?

For me this question is easy.  I do this because I feel like if I ask someone else to do something and they don't do it like I would then I feel entitled to do it myself and make it right  because I am a control freak .  Which makes me feel like I have wasted time because I could have done it in the first place and not have to spend more time on it.  When I think about it, I can admit that just because in my mind it has to be done a certain way doesn't mean that the other persons way is not acceptable as well.  

I noticed that the person above nor the message even asked or answered if they found themselves or if you have found yourself? 

I will just take it upon myself to finish this up with an ending.  I stopped searching for who I was in others and materials and became consumed with many things over the years.  In being a wife, mother, stay at home parent, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, grandchild, cousin, volunteer and every other role I am playing in life, I realized that is WHO I AM.  I am content with all of these roles and I never found or realized the answer by searching.  I feel complete and satisfied with how my life is and do not feel in need to be any other person than who I am.  It may not be the same for another person, but for me this is what I feel in my heart in this point and time in my life as the answer.

What do you think? Have you ever pondered this question?



How "Being Raised" Shaped Me

I really have been thinking about what makes people so different lately.  I never really put more than the feeling that I just don't get along with that person; but why are other people the way they are?  I ran across something and it was talking about the ways you were raised vs other people and it made perfect sense.  How do you resolve a conflict with someone who will never understand where you are coming from or you may never understand where they are coming from thus causing disagreements.  

I was raised one way and you were raised another way.  The way you are raised shapes the person you do, do not or kind of want to be. Growing up with the same 'guidelines' does not mean you will think or be the same way as say a sibling.  There are many things that go into who we are and besides surroundings and teachings, it ultimately ends up as the choice of the individual.  We all grow up in different backgrounds and react differently to the situations we experience.

You realize overtime that it isn't easy or common for truth to be spoken, owned up to or provided by others. People construe the truth, decide to not communicate something that must be communicated which causes grief. Naturally when someone reacts or communicates with you in a way that you were taught and understand to be dishonest, rude or inauthentic it catches you.  Not necessarily because you don't like it, but because you were shaped that way.   Many people know better without having been raised well; and plenty of people were raised well, but don't know.

  For me it is "CAUSE and EFFECT"

Cause- When I was a little kid my life was unstable, whether it was hopping back and forth between schools, states or homes even though my mom tried the best she could. 

Effect- I do not like moving at all because it makes things seem unstable and unpredictable.  I want to make sure even more now than ever I give my children the most stable life possible.  This means not moving around, not changing schools, or even having our children in daycare or after school care because of work schedules.   I am blessed to not have to work currently, but we have to sacrifice time with my husband.  My husband works really long hours and is gone most of the week so I would feel like it would make our children's lives unstable because they would hardly see us if I worked too.  My choices are slim and the job market here isn't exactly booming, so of course schedule options normally start at nights.

Cause- As I younger child, growing up in a very chaotic and hostile environment. 

Effect- I try to keep my children from being exposed to those kind of situations.  When those situations are caused by others which causes me to have extremely high anxiety in addition to infuriating me.  Some think its good to let loose like that;  I agree to a certain extent, but not in front of little kids.   I know what it made me feel like as a child and I don't think children should be in those kinds of situations ever.

Cause-  I went through 2 step parents due to my father dying when I was 8 days old.  They were both abusers of different kinds. One physical and verbal and the other sexual abuser and mental abuser.

Effect- My husband means the world to me and I want to make sure my children always have their father and live in a safe and loving home.  I am very leery of adults being around my children; especially men because often abusers are people close in your life.  At least in my situation and pretty much every one I have heard of they were.  I don't post many pictures of my children on the net because I want to protect them as much as possible. 

Cause- Extremely strict rules- be seen and not heard pretty much always, elbows off the tables, respect your elders, no jumping or abusing furniture, no being loud or raising your voice EVER, always use manners, dress appropriately, good grades, lots of consequences and so on. 

Effect- This turned out to be an understandable one, to a point.  I expect my children to use manners,  respect their elders, be honest, I dress them appropriately, we expect them to behave in public and not horseplay or be loud.  I see so many children that lack parental control or manners it makes me cringe.  I think part of me was traumatized from certain parts of my childhood and it was just something that I was etched into my brain as how it is supposed to be and I expect nothing less from mine.  I do believe children should use manners, be courteous and respectful.

 Cause- Being very poor and wearing hand me downs and clothes my mom had to sew together or draw designs on got picked on all of the time.  I didn't understand why as a little kid because I like the clothes my mom puffed painted up with cool designs.  I just wanted to be a cool kid or the kid that made friends easy because of me not because of what I was wearing or where I lived.

Effect- I want to make sure my children have a decent selection of clothes so they are less likely to be picked on because of it.  We teach them that everyone is different and comes from a different background so be nice to everyone and clothes do not matter-people do.  I love 2nd hand stores with gently used clothes and I am not against hand me downs.  I will not spend a bunch on money on clothes because they grow out of them so fast.  I try to teach my children about how special and unique they are and they can like and be whoever they want to be.

My husband and I both agree on stability and giving our kids better than what we had. We do disagree on a few things having to do with family but I really feel like it is from how we were raised.  I am thinking about doing a post about a few things my husband and I agree and disagree upon via what were raised on. 

I think everyone will always have their different opinions and be shaped differently from certain things they were exposed to.  Its all in what you take away from it whether you allow it to affect you positively or negatively. 

Relationship VS Friends

 What are the results that typically happen between 2 people whether in a relationship or friendship?

  You are so alike that it becomes boring. You mesh with one another perfectly. You just can't stand to be around the other person.   OR   You are so different that you can not find an even ground. You are not interested in any of the same things. You love that there is something different that you can learn and teach the other person every day.       These differences of course always depending on each persons personality.   

The “Bad Attitude”

The “Mean-Spirited”

The “Curmudgeon”

(thinks of everyone but them self as incompetent)

The “Overly-Confident”

The “Loner”

The “Results-Driven”

The “Quiet”

The “Brainiac"

The “Talkative”

The “Sensitive"

The “Analyst”

The “Aggressive”

The “Considerate”

The "Competitive"

In the end everyone is one or more:

Extroverted or Introverted

Sensing or intuitive

Thinking or Feeling

Judging or Perceiving

I can surely say my husband is my best friend and all of these things are important in our relationship.

 

You Challenge- 6 Places I Love

Week 5 of a 10 week You challenge hosted by Lauren & Tiffany.

Born and raised on the coast so it will always be in my heart.

I feel at home in:

&

NC is growing on our family the longer we live here.

A few things we have done in NC.  Went to the Hot Balloon Festival; Hiking at Riverbend Park; Feeding the ducks at Hickory Lake; Ran a 5k for Hearts for Heroes, and most recently climbed Table Rock Mountain above Linville, Gorge.

These are a few of the places I would like to travel to with my family.

London, so I can see all of the King Henry VIII Sites.



Venice, Italy

Rome

Where are some places you would like to go?

You Challenge- 7 Wants

 All of the questions I have answered in this weekly YOU Challenge really have me feeling like I know a little bit more about myself...if that makes any sense.

1. I want to grow old with my boyfriend  husband until the end of time.

2. I want a really good camera.  I buy them yearly & I just haven't found the one that fits what I need it to do.  They cost SO much & I just have to wait a bit longer to get what I want.  I am a serious photo taking fool. I love it!

3. To continue on a path of being a better person. Strengthening my faith, recovering from being a procrastinator, getting it together, controlling my anger issues, & being confident in me on the inside & out.

4. I want the mindset that I CAN & WILL be healthy & fit to be embedded in my brain.  I know all the things to do but my mind & my body just won't agree.  I lost 30 pounds last year & then I don't know what happend.  I ran a 5k with my husband, had a accountibility partner, did some therapy with a online group etc.... My motivation is seriously nonexistant lacking.  (once this happens, my husband & I are going to get remarried. We will finally be able to get professional wedding photos done.) 
*It is hard to understand knowing all the reasons you want/need something & how to get there but just not following through.  Surely I need to get to a doctor(haven't been to one in over 10 yrs) & get my busted back and nerve issues delt with.

5. I want to learn multiple languages.  Sign Language, French(I had 2 years long ago) and Spanish. My dads side of the family all speak cajun French fluently, but I didn't grow up around them so I missed out.

6. I want to own a lovely home out in a country setting with my family.  To be financially comfortable with not owing anything out and owning everything we want to have.

7.  I want to be taught how to dance.  I have watched dancing instructions, been to random dancing events and I have absolutely NO rhythm of any kind.  Even my bad rhythm has no rhythm. LOL.

Cheers to getting to know YOU!

You Challenge- 8 of my Fears

Here are 8 things I fear:


1. I do not fear the animal just being bitten by it.  This includes snakes, spiders, & anything else that bites big!
                     IT IS A CAKE BEFORE ANYONE ELSE FREAKS OUT! 

 Sorry if it scared you. It scared me at first to but then I saw it was a cake and it was funny.  Phew!

2. I am not afraid of heights, however, I fear the risk of falling and the ground catching me.

3.  I fear losing my husband or children; or me going first & them being in pain.  Losing my mom or other immediate family before I get a chance to move back to Mississippi & spend "LIFE" with them.  Even though I know its moving on to eternal life & its not a bad thing.  It should be a happy moment, but I have to admit even the thought hurts my heart.  *I have a fear of abandonment.

4.  I fear losing function in my body that will immobilize me.

5.  I am extremely Claustrophobic; which adds to the fear of being suffocated or drowning. I can not breath if anything is too close to my face and I freak out.

6.  I fear getting wrinkles and losing all my teeth.    * I don't mind getting older and wiser; just the wrinkles part gets me. My grandmother is in her 80's and has very few if hardly any on her face, so hopefully I will be lucky and take after the good genes.  

* I often have dreams all my teeth are falling out at the same time while I am awake and it just terrifies me.  I am not really sure what to call this fear.

7.  I fear someone breaking into the house at night time and even though I am prepared(I THINK).

 I am so paranoid that I will choke up and my family will be harmed because I couldn't protect them. I have problems sleeping at night because every little thing that happens I am up walking around the house checking to make sure all is good.  My husband is gone a few nights of the week, so I am here by myself with 2 little ones a pretty good bit of time.

* I am always afraid my children will get kidnapped so I am that paranoid mom that makes my kids always stay within an arm length of me just incase.  Better safe than sorry.

8. I guess you could say I have a fear of escalators.

*I do the pause, feet dance, pause, feet dance and jump on quickly move.  Not really sure why other than I saw a movie when I was younger where some kids were on an escalator and one of them fell while wearing pearl beads & they went into the side of the escalator.  She was choked her to death because she couldn't get them off.  Ahh! I know.

So now you know everything that scares the crap out of me. What are some things that scare you?

My husband is a chocolate Gifter

I have the sweetest husband in the world!  This week he has done so many loving things for me.  He was working hard & happened to have a stop in the Raleigh N.C. mall & he knows how much I LOVE Godiva chocolate so he picked me some up. Just in case you have not ran across these and love chocolate, you have to try these. Did you know that you get a $10 discount on the month of your birthday and each month you get a free piece of chocolate? Information worth knowing.


Godiva Chocolate dipped Macroon- My absolute FAVORITE!

Godiva Chocolate covered Pecan Cluster

A tin of various chocolate gems: caramel, chocolate, & a few variety flavors. They have different flavors for the different seasons and the best part is the price is set, but you can put as many chocolate in the can...that will fit with the lid on...and that is what you get. Fantastic, right!

Since my hubby packs his truck before he goes out and letting a packer pack little chocolates would be a crime if you saw how many he can fit in a can without damaging one piece. He always manages to render the cashier speechless when they see this. 

One more thing about my hubby, is that he really has a way with words and can trade anything with anyone; normally it is something electronical. His company did a giveaway for the casserole dish below (his partner won it) and about a month prior, I bought a Kindle from a fellow mom for like $30. I hadn't used it at all, so he ended up trading the Kindle for the casserole dish for a beautiful Williams Sonoma Dish from Le Creuset that was made in France!

Sugg. Price: $180.00 – $280.00
From Le Creuset and its lineup of bright, enameled cast iron pieces comes this 8 x 12-in. roasting pan.  The roasting pan is made of beautiful, enameled cast iron and is conveniently dishwasher-safe.

It is absolutely crazy to me that anyone would actually pay that much for just one little baking dish, but I can't wait to bake something in it!

You are Special- A Collection of Inspirational Quotes

You are beautiful, you are smart, you are kind...etc.  I believe every child should be told they are beautiful and special every single day.   Even adults like hearing these things, because it feels good to know that someone thinks your important.

I like to let my children know they are special and beautiful and it doesn't matter whether someone else doesn't like something about you; all that matters is if YOU like it.  My daughter has a problem with worrying about what everyone thinks of her and that they don't like her.  I am not sure why she feels or thinks this way; maybe it is a stage thing.  My son doesn't have that problem and he is happy being who he wants to be.  As for my daughter Kaylei, she needs reassuring, and I am happy to give it to her.  I want her to be happy for who she is and not let anyone change how she feels or thinks about anything. Independence!

Some say its not good to tell your child these things because it can backfire. Really?! I don't think so, but that is why everyone has their own opinion. 

I often print things out with self building phrases and put them on the fridge at her eye level because I know she will read them.  I love seeing them smile and FEEL like they are special, because I already know they are.  I want them to KNOW they are special.  

I wanted to share a few things that I have put up and just random confidence boosting things I have ran across.  It is still a work in progress, but I am confident that one day it will be etched in her brain and no matter what, she will know how truly special and beautiful she is and won't ever let anyone alter her thoughts and feelings.

 I also try to teach my children about being accepting of others no matter what. 

Years back I ran across Lessons From Life on a office wall,  and I instantly had to go home and search for it.  It stays on the fridge as well and has been up there so long that I should print a new one.



No matter what happens each and every day or the people they run in to, I always want my children to remember they are special. Just because someone can't see doesn't mean you need to be blind and have a closed heart.

Served Daily!

How do you help your child(ren) know they are important? How do you keep this in mind??

I admit, it is hard for me to remember sometimes that it doesn't matter what others think.  I can give the advice but am guilty of forgetting to take it myself sometimes.   My sensitivity takes hold and affects my thoughts and emotions.  I will leave you with one final thought and I hope you have a blessed day!

What kind of quotes motivate, inspire or make you think? 

Me, Myself and I- A few Thoughts

Q & A

1) What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

I would open up a Catering/Event Business.  I love to cook and I love for people to gather around spending quality time with one another while enjoying delicious food in a beautiful atmosphere. 

2) If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time?

I would go traveling and spend the time of my life with my family enjoying anything and everything we hadn't before.

3) If a front page news article was written on you, what would the headline be?

Hmmm...????  Where did she go? No body knows.

4) What is your biggest pet peeve?

Bad drivers absolutely urk my nerves. 

* Why would you pull in front of me, cut me off and turn a block away still not using your blinker? 

* Also, when a driver pulls out in front of me and goes REALLY SLOW.  WHY oh WHY?  

* Why swerve in front of me and not use your blinker?  I would have let you over because I am nice like that. 

* Why not turn your blinker on while I am stopped waiting for you to pass like a good driver and then you TURN? Ugh. 

* I am a road raged driver because of these non blinking drivers. 

I will lay on my horn, wave my hands and say silent angry words directed at you just to let you know you made me mad and your a bad driver. (I know bad) Oh an when you pass me be sure you will get a dirty look.  

5) What is your favorite chick flick movie?

These are the only ones that are coming to mind right now.

Another favorite is Hope Floats!

Confessional Friday...I Confess

 for the week!

1. I confess, I have absolutely loved the almost Fall like weather for the last few days.

2. I confess,  I have had way too many Java Monsters and 20 oz Pepsi's this week. (bottled Pepsi's taste the best)

3. I confess, I love surrounding myself with a gazillion pillows at night time--when hubby is out of town for work.

4. I confess, I am loving the new apple slicer/decore tool I bought this week.

5. I confess, I am obssessed with taking pictures of Chick-fil-A Cow signs, but I don't like anything there expect the Grilled Chicken Sandwich.  I have spent almost 4 years trying to snap pictures of the many Chick-fil-A signs in Atlanta, Ga on our trip to MS each year....I almost have them all.

6. I confess, I am in love with spot the difference pictures.

7. I confess, I am crazy in love with my husband and I love his sweetness and how he makes me laugh.

8.  I confess, I can not leave the house without putting on mascara or eyeliner and I love lipgloss.

9. I confess, I worry way to much.

Credit: A Blonde Ambition 

Thankful Thursday

On this Thursday, I am thankful for each and everything the Lord has blessed us with.  I am thankful for all of the trials he puts upon us no matter how hard they are, for they teach us to be stronger and further our learning.   I am thankful for the health and happiness of my family as well as for the food, shelter and the wonderful people we come in contact with everyday. 

I am Thankful this Thursday!



You Challenge- 10 Secrets

I happened to run across Austin Family Diary, saw this and here I am. I am excited to do this!

My 10 Secrets!

1. I wait until almost the last minute to complete something and when I start on it I want it perfect.  This is the result of me being a procrastinating perfectionist.

2.  I am so indecisive when it come to choices because I over analyze the situations result with each choice.

3. I am not a huge fan of animal smell, hair, saliva, constant barking, people letting their animals lick them on the mouth or animals eating out of dishes that people will be eating out of.  They are fun and cute but that is it.

4. I received the gift of being artistic and crafty, however I did not get the gift of the way with words. I wish I could be the poetic person that knows the perfect ways and things to say everything and make everyone feel it....like my sister Brandy. 

5. Every time I see a scary movie I have bad dreams. This only started happening after I gave birth to my first child.  Werewolf eyes are the worst! Haha, I know its silly.

6.  I love corn but again after I had my first child my body changed.  It makes me SOOO sick, but I eat it sometimes anyway because I love it.

7.   I DO NOT sniff in very strongly due to not wanting to smell something stinky. If I smell something stinky I instantly breath through my mouth. My husband says why would you want to taste it?? That doesn't happen to me though.

8. It drives me insane to hear someone eating with their mouth open or smacking. 



9.  I CAN NOT cook anything unless all of the dishes are clean.   I do the most cleaning at one time before someone comes over.  Its like a triple tornado with DH and the kids.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Albert Einstein

10.  I have a huge fear of being rejected and I often try too hard; even though I always have the best intentions.  I often feel like I fail over and over and I search and hope that one day someone out there will "GET ME" and just accept me for who I am...friend wise.  I had best friends when I was younger, but have yet to find that person as an adult that is just there for me.  My husband is my ultimate best friend, but sometimes I need that different kind of personality.

Those are my top 10 Secrets....and of course I have more. : )





When you drop food on the Floor

So now you know what to do when you drop food on the floor.

Or you could always use the 5 or 10 second rule. : )  Not that I am saying to eat off the floor.

  

Words to Live By

curiositiesbydickens.com



Beautiful People passage and my Thoughts

I find that I can relate to this quote. I have known defeat, suffering, struggle, loss and I have indeed found my way out. I have been through some really dark times and I know many that have as well, including my husband. Honestly, I am sure every person has experienced some kind of sadness and loss...or felt like they were at rock bottom or close to it as some point in time. There is no where to go but up from the bottom is what I say. It is a hard path to travel and recover from, but every person is different and will recover in their own way in their own time.  Being that many experience things that change them as a person whether it be in a positive light or a negative one, it is up to them.

I for one feel like I am a better person and the way that I interact with others and the way that I deal with things because of my experiences. My husband is this way as well and we click very well because of this. Normally, I do not speak of religion or anything involving it here, but I will on this post. I will always believe for all of my days that God gives you what he knows you can handle, not more and not less. You are supposed to learn from your experiences and grow from them. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Some are there to teach you and some are there for you to teach. Everything is a blessing even if it is disguised.  What do you think about the above passage?