I was bullied as a child. It never stopped until I went to middle school and got away from the person doing it. It was my bus drivers son; he was younger but bigger than me. He was one of those loud kids that could pull everyones attention in. It hurt as a kid to be bullied, but back then you just moved on and hoped it would stop. I was picked on for everything; from my hair to my shoes. It was more of the verbal abuse. There was no parents going to the school or anything. Fighting was not encouraged, however we were told defend yourself and you won't be in trouble at home. It was toughen up or fight back.
Those years affected my teenage years in middle and high school. When I got into middle school and high school I was going through rough times at home and I then built a wall up to prevent more people from hurting me. I became "The Bitch" and a few other names, but I wasn't a bully. I did it because I figured if I was mean and acted like I didn't care what people thought of me or if they liked me then my chances of being bullied was less likely. I not only got what I wanted, but also what I didn't. I stuck to my group of friends and let everything be. I was not very social and stayed to myself. Now as an adult, and I think back that of course was the wrong thing to do. I always thought I was going to move out of the little small town where I lived and I wouldn't have to worry about any of those people again. A town where everyone knows your business before you do. Who would have thought that social networking would come about; I had no clue. People that could have been there for me throughout my life and been my best friends forever, but I messed that up with my words and actions.
When people view you how I was viewed especially in high school, it seems like they really don't give you that second chance for them to see how you really are even as an adult.
Now on to my daughter. She is now in 2nd grade and her first year of school she was having an issue with a little girl in her class being mean to her. I tried to go through the chain of command steps: Teacher, Principal etc. I contacted the teacher several times with no success. I requested her to be moved away from the little girl and that was the only thing done. I tried having a parent/teacher conference which was unsuccessful. My breaking point: my little girl who at the time was only a newly turned 5 year old was sitting on side of me drawing a picture. She is very artistic and loves to draw. I asked her what she was drawing and she responded with "This is Mallory and this is me". I look a the picture and it was a little girl with blue drops on her face. I said well what is that on her face. She said the little girl told her that she was going to punch her in the face the next day and that was a picture of her crying. All I could do was reassure her how special she was and that I would never let that happen to her. Lots of hugs.
I was at the school before the staff even got there waiting to confront her teacher. I never got the chance luckily, because the principal showed up and I informed her about all the incidences throughout the year thus far. She took the picture and called in the little girls parents for a conference. The teacher didn't return the next year. Since then the school did a complete turn around and lets it be know that they mean business and bullying will not be tolerated. A contract was sent home this year that required the signature of the student, parent, principal and teacher. They have anti-bullying boxes around the school where kids can place notes in them at any time if they are having a issue like that. They also recieved awards for taking the pledge.
So no matter what it is that you are saying or doing, remember they will affect someone else. Lets be a part of that puzzle piece and make sure our kids don't get bullied or more importantly be a bully.
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